Tuesday, April 26, 2011

#37. Teetotaling is for the birds

I did it. Oh it was hard but I did it. 47 days, mind you. FORTY-SEVEN. That 40 days and 40 nights of Lent doohicky is a lie. A bold-faced lie. Did I give up at 40 days or take Sundays off because I could? No. No I did not.  Did I want to? Only when I remembered and was feeling like a martyr and wanted to get my way about something with the Mr. Awesome (which by the way did not work! that serpent!). Woe, woe was me.

But hallelujah and all that jazz! Christ is risen and I'm back on the drink! And literally, the drink because that's all it takes nowadays. Just the one and pfff! I am donezo. It is that quick and I kid you not.

But you know what is the biggest revelation of all?

It wasn't that hard. And I kind of want back on the wagon. Shhh.

The hardest part of all was when my own mother decided to be a bad influence and tempt me to the dark side! She did not win. I persevered. We are still friends but I will never forget that! Never! Probably only because she had some of my favorite wine and I love having wine with my mama, especially when it's my favorite.

But here is where I stand on my pedestal (oh look at that! we're the same height now! i can't even see those stray hairs on the underside of your chin now!) and toot my own horn and maybe, just maybe, get a little sentimental.

This now marks the 6th year in a row! that I have not given up on my Lenten promise. That is a big thing for me because while I am stubborn as all get-out, I usually fail with self-improvement (those extra love handles around my waist? yup, been there for quite some time now!). And when I fail, so does my self-esteem. But for whatever reason, when I became an adult (aka graduated and got myself a real j-o-b), I made Lenten resolutions that were SMART and kept them. Every single one. No excuses, no leeway, no cheating.

And it's made me realize just how silly they are. Just how much they don't matter. But just how much I want to do them because it's something. Some way to say thanks. That I can't comprehend but I acknowledge and am grateful for what I've been given. That there's no way not drinking for 40 47 days will be at all comparable to giving up my life, for being my Savior before I was even born and before my mother's mother's mother's mother's mother was born. For being the only refuge I have ever known and the solace I keep searching for even though I know He's there.

It reminds me every day that I'm here because of someone else, for someone else. It humbles me and empowers me and generally makes me want to hug everyone I see (watch out, I'm a hugger!). It is sincerely awesome. Kinda like Him.

Cheers to that!

Monday, April 18, 2011

#36. This Blog Does Not Suck

hello darling. miss me? oh, i missed you, too!

so what have i been up to in my absence? well i have been reading (slash obsessing) over this blog. and i'll tell you what...


it sucks because it quickly reeled me in and it makes me so sad and depressed and heartbroken. and then it makes me terrified that i could go through the same thing someday. and more than anything in the whole wide world, i never ever ever ever want to be without  my LOML. 

so reading this blog is not a good idea. 
unless you want a story that will capture your heart. 
then it is a great idea.
but don't forget the kleenex!

and if you do venture down this path of sadness, kleenex in tow, don't forget to cheer yourself up afterwards. 
i did. 

here are the happy thoughts i decided to conjur up this morning to shake off the gloom and doom
(dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn):

1) it is a beautiful day down here in the Valley. people who live down here definitely don't have to worry about bringing in their basil at night! (more on that later)

2) as the wind whipped through my hair, i realized, my hair smells great today. i mean GREAT! how awesome is that? AND it probably means i can get away without washing it tomorrow, hallelujah!

3) the grass at goog definitely needs to be mowed. it was all wet and long and the ground underneath so squishy. and then i thought this is EXACTLY the kind of grass my Nutmeg loves.
and i smiled. 

go on. get out there and do some smiling
(and put down that blog of sadness!)

PS did i tell you that we got a dog???
well, now you know!
and don't even try to tell me Nutmeg isn't the cutest lil troublemaker in the world
just don't.