Tuesday, April 26, 2011

#37. Teetotaling is for the birds

I did it. Oh it was hard but I did it. 47 days, mind you. FORTY-SEVEN. That 40 days and 40 nights of Lent doohicky is a lie. A bold-faced lie. Did I give up at 40 days or take Sundays off because I could? No. No I did not.  Did I want to? Only when I remembered and was feeling like a martyr and wanted to get my way about something with the Mr. Awesome (which by the way did not work! that serpent!). Woe, woe was me.

But hallelujah and all that jazz! Christ is risen and I'm back on the drink! And literally, the drink because that's all it takes nowadays. Just the one and pfff! I am donezo. It is that quick and I kid you not.

But you know what is the biggest revelation of all?

It wasn't that hard. And I kind of want back on the wagon. Shhh.

The hardest part of all was when my own mother decided to be a bad influence and tempt me to the dark side! She did not win. I persevered. We are still friends but I will never forget that! Never! Probably only because she had some of my favorite wine and I love having wine with my mama, especially when it's my favorite.

But here is where I stand on my pedestal (oh look at that! we're the same height now! i can't even see those stray hairs on the underside of your chin now!) and toot my own horn and maybe, just maybe, get a little sentimental.

This now marks the 6th year in a row! that I have not given up on my Lenten promise. That is a big thing for me because while I am stubborn as all get-out, I usually fail with self-improvement (those extra love handles around my waist? yup, been there for quite some time now!). And when I fail, so does my self-esteem. But for whatever reason, when I became an adult (aka graduated and got myself a real j-o-b), I made Lenten resolutions that were SMART and kept them. Every single one. No excuses, no leeway, no cheating.

And it's made me realize just how silly they are. Just how much they don't matter. But just how much I want to do them because it's something. Some way to say thanks. That I can't comprehend but I acknowledge and am grateful for what I've been given. That there's no way not drinking for 40 47 days will be at all comparable to giving up my life, for being my Savior before I was even born and before my mother's mother's mother's mother's mother was born. For being the only refuge I have ever known and the solace I keep searching for even though I know He's there.

It reminds me every day that I'm here because of someone else, for someone else. It humbles me and empowers me and generally makes me want to hug everyone I see (watch out, I'm a hugger!). It is sincerely awesome. Kinda like Him.

Cheers to that!

Monday, April 18, 2011

#36. This Blog Does Not Suck

hello darling. miss me? oh, i missed you, too!

so what have i been up to in my absence? well i have been reading (slash obsessing) over this blog. and i'll tell you what...


it sucks because it quickly reeled me in and it makes me so sad and depressed and heartbroken. and then it makes me terrified that i could go through the same thing someday. and more than anything in the whole wide world, i never ever ever ever want to be without  my LOML. 

so reading this blog is not a good idea. 
unless you want a story that will capture your heart. 
then it is a great idea.
but don't forget the kleenex!

and if you do venture down this path of sadness, kleenex in tow, don't forget to cheer yourself up afterwards. 
i did. 

here are the happy thoughts i decided to conjur up this morning to shake off the gloom and doom
(dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn):

1) it is a beautiful day down here in the Valley. people who live down here definitely don't have to worry about bringing in their basil at night! (more on that later)

2) as the wind whipped through my hair, i realized, my hair smells great today. i mean GREAT! how awesome is that? AND it probably means i can get away without washing it tomorrow, hallelujah!

3) the grass at goog definitely needs to be mowed. it was all wet and long and the ground underneath so squishy. and then i thought this is EXACTLY the kind of grass my Nutmeg loves.
and i smiled. 

go on. get out there and do some smiling
(and put down that blog of sadness!)

PS did i tell you that we got a dog???
well, now you know!
and don't even try to tell me Nutmeg isn't the cutest lil troublemaker in the world
just don't.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

#35. Sober Sister Flashbacks

So what's an almost-wife to do when she is left home by herself on a Friday night? I'll tell you what, a whole lotta nothing.

I have been selfishly indulged by my LOML's presence lately and we have done all sorts of fun things like eat at home because I am trying SO VERY HARD on this new diet, go for walks in the rain, buy a new couch, watch Greek episodes (yes, we have just discovered the show and yes, we realize the series finale has already happened), search the internet for a doggie to love...the list goes on and on and on. It does! You get my point.

So, what? We've been lazy pieces of you-know-what lately and I've been LOVING it (bah do ba ba baaaaaah!).  So when LOML decided to return to the real world of friends and basketball and beers and NO GIRLS ALLOWED on Friday night, well, I was at a loss. What exactly did I do before the U+ME=US phase of co-habitation? I mean, surely I did something? Surely?

You see, what this Lenten experiment into the world of non-drinking has taught me is that, on a Friday night, most of my girlfriends are down for a glass bottle of wine (or two). And not wanting to indulge leaves you a bit on the sidelines. So...I'm coming up with my list of things to do while sober (and apparently, alone). Here it goes:

  •  You can make yourself a granita (doesn't that sound fancy?). And you don't have to share! And...you can get lazy halfway through and turn that granita into a lovely bowl of strawberries and mango and put the ice back in the freezer and no one will know the wiser. Success!
  • You can put the basketball game on mute.  You can stop paying attention, find yourself at halftime, and not worry about what you've missed or feel like your life just flashed before your eyes and the game is only halfway over, oh em gee. You can even unmute during those talking baby commercials and laugh out loud and not be judged for your incredibly caveman-developed sense of humor. And you can watch Kourtney & Kim on DVR when you get bored (shhh!).
  • You can make new dance party playlists and pause while doing so to, well, you know, to shake what yo momma gave ya!
  • Did I mention not having to share your strawberry-mango-bowl-of-God's-goodness?
It was a great night. Oh, and the laundry got done. But I was really, really glad when LOML came home. Even though I was already asleep because, hey, looking this good don't come easy! Beauty rest and all that.

Aren't we a good-lookin' bunch? I miss you, sister friends!

Friday, March 25, 2011

#34. Well Hello There, Sunshine!

I will not talk about Rebecca Black.
I will not talk about Rebecca Black.
I will not talk about Rebecca Black.
I will not talk about Rebecca Black.
I will not talk about Rebecca Black.

But, oh, have you heard about Rebecca Black? Okay, good, because then I can refrain from expressing my opinion on Rebecca Black! REBECCA BLACK! This world has gone to the dogs or something like that.

And did you know that I could do 31 pushups? 31! THIRTY-ONE! In a row! Exclamation point! I did not know that I was even close to capable of such a feat and oh how it put a little tickle of joy in my heart. And a tickle of pain in my left tricep that may or may not go away by Monday. Say a prayer for me oh please oh please oh please. And pass the paprikash. And I would love to partake in your pecan pie. Pecan piiiiiiiiiiie.


So in my overdue return to this blog, I am not going to talk about this week's car accident. I am not going to talk about the next day's stolen bike. Nor will I talk about the late late late night of work on a presentation that never ended up happening. Or the torrential downpour that has been all I can see out my window for the last bazillion days. Don't be sad. There are other topics we can discuss!

Like doing a tour on YouTube today and reintroducing myself to Leeroy Jenkins and Charlie and David and Grape Lady. Oh hello, friends. I have missed you. You never cease to make me laugh so hard I cry...seriously. And all we had at work to wipe my tears were compostable napkins. And let me tell you something...those suckers disintegrate for a reason. They are already dead scratchiness. But even their maiming of my eyeballs couldn't take away from my YouTube lovefest 2K11.

And, then, walking home today, I saw the sun. And I sang OUT LOUD here comes the sun (dootin doo doo)! And then it promptly tucked itself behind a cloud never to be seen again. Coincidence? We may never know.

Leeroy, you are just stupid as hell.
At least I have chicken.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

#33. Spring Break Trippin'

Today I woke up on time (almost!). To Mr. Awesome's spring break'ing self's delight, I didn't snooze once this morning. Not once! Who's Awesome now?

So let's talk about spring break. It sounds all sorts of fun, right? You think of beaches and lovely tans and maybe maaaaaaybe a corona or two? Just sayin'. Sometimes that break in spring gets craaaaaazy.

But not for the Awesomes in 2011. Nope, not at all. Oh, you want to know what's making this spring break so tame? Well, for starters, I am not on break. I am workin' 9 to 5 and then some. Boo that.

For seconds, it's rainy days in the 'frisco wonderland. Which I don't mind at all. We went on a crazy rain adventure walk this weekend and it was fantastic until the end when my feet didn't feel like walking anymore and we still had SO. FAR. TO. GO. It was a march to the death at the end I tell you and when I got home, I did not feel good even one little bit. (Don't despair; I'm feeling all kinds of better now). But regardless, rain does not conjure up images of a spring break gone right.

And thirdly, can you keep a secret? I'm sorry Mr. Awesome, but I have to share. Please forgive me. My wild partying fiance whom I love so much spent day one of said break.....cleaning the floors in our apartment! I mean, I can't say that I wasn't overcome with delight and renewed remembrance of how much I love him but don't you feel just a little bad for the guy? Just a little?

Well stop yourself right there!!! because we ARE taking a spring break trip believe you me! We are taking a long weekend and going toooooooooooooo.....Sioux City.

I know. Blows your socks right off, huh?

This was seriously a town pride campaign for awhile there. I can't even make stuff like this up. You're welcome.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

#32. Every Party has a Pooper

Okay, so there's a little something I'd like to get off my chest. It's not a big something, don't you worry. But I will feel OH SO MUCH BETTER once it's out there.

That something is called the San Francisco Giants. Now, I don't have anything against the men who choose to stand in a diamond in Halloween colors for the better part of each year personally per se....but I

It's baseball season AGAIN? What possibly on earth could be more boring? And for such an extended period of time? How many hours will I spend on the freeway this season? How many????

Do you think if I put on my best pouty face they'd move the stadium to, oh I dunno, Mars? What would you give me if I tried?

anne the party pooper

PS - is it okay for me to still wear my Giants sweatshirt though? I look all kinds of cute in it. Lemme know!

Monday, March 7, 2011

#31. A Good Hair Day Can Only Mean One Thing

How did I know today would be a good, no a great! , day? It took me only 20 mins to do my hair. Twenty! We're talking both drying and straightening this thick curly mane of mine. And yes the straightening job is probably not in the top ten of all time but I am most impressed with myself. I usually can't even get through the blowdrying process that quickly! Hooray for Mondays!

But then, convinced today had something great in store for me, I almost missed the bus. Almost! It shut the door just as I turned the corner but thankfully my winning smile caused that sucker to pop fight back open. Was this another good omen? Or a sign of things turning for the worst?

(PS typing errors are sometimes the BEST. For example, on my Droid right now and things originally came up as thongs. Haha, LOL style and all that jazz. Seriously laughing not only because my sense of humor never evolved beyond the 4th grade - thanks, dad! - but because I also remember showing up to college at USC without any clue that thongs related to lacey underthings and I constantly would shout "almost ready, just let me grab my thongs!" when hunting for some summer footwear of the flipflop persuasion. No wonder I was very not cool my first year! Did my coolness improve in years 2 through 4? One may never know but I did stop using the word thongs in any way shape or form!)

(PPS how do we feel about my sidebars being the longest parts of my stories? Is this wildly entertaining like a choose your own adventure book or obnoxious? Pray tell...!)

So where was I? Oh yes...

Peeling off my coat for fear of dying of heat exhaustion (or the smell of my own sweat from running with two heavy bags to the bus!), I powered up my laptop only to find a little sad orange light blinking at me as if to say, sorry try again later bonehead who didn't charge her computer all night.

So here I am, typing away on my phone, wondering what could this all mean? Good day or bad day? How will I ever decide? Good thing I've got this luscious hair to toss over my shoulders while I ponder.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

#30. Delorian Dreams

Lately I have been thinking a lot about what I could have had/been/done in a parallel universe. You know, like one of those movies where if you pick up the phone or don't pick up the phone, your life is forever changed? I am positive that one of those moments (or several!) have happened to me and I just didn't have the fortitude to know (darn you, fortitude! where were you when I needed you? hanging out with common sense, that no good hussy?!?).

Seriously, I know I was supposed to be famous and beautiful and independently wealthy and so on & so forth, but somewhere down the road,  I went a little sideways. Do you ever feel that way? Not, to be exact, that you are going sideways but that somehow you did the wrong thing with the phone? If you are feeling the former, it's time to put down the whisky!

For instance, these are supposed to be the best years of my life, right? I'm supposed to mourn over the loss of this 27-year-old body of mine and wish for it back in years to come - as if!!! Let's be serious; I'm mourning over this sucker now! This 5'2" package is not what I was hoping for when I tried every diet known to man over the last 10 years. And the early onset of wrinkles from work-related stress, let's not even go there.

And what about all the fun you're supposed to be having in your twenties? Going to fabulous parties and "living the life" with your gaggle of girlfriends - I assume they were not talking about my Saturday night curled up in bed watching season 1 of Jersey Shore? Did I really just admit that? Should we end this post here? It's all becoming too much to bear! (Oh, did I mention how dramatic I was? You should know about that before going any further!) But yes, I admit it. Hi my name is Anne and I live vicariously through Snooki & JWoww. I see now that they are not really my friends in my real life. But...I really want the Snooki poof and Jenni's (fake) boobs. C'mon. You do, too!

Seriously, are either of those things real?
courtesy of google image search
But I am really blessed.  You know it and I know it. I have a job, a j-o-b yo! (hahahaha and a REALLY great sense of humor, don't you think?) and the paycheck comes every other Friday without fail. I have a home, a place that I can really call my own (well our own since I have to share it with that Mr. Awesome fellow, but details!), and that I am loving getting to decorate and put my mark on. I have four sisters who used to fight with me like the dickens when we were younger and who I never thought I'd be close to and really just wanted to be far away from and who now I can't live without. I can't. I don't need much of anything if we're honest, but I need them. And I have the sweetest father who loves us so much it almost makes you feel guilty. And my mother who never let us make excuses for ourselves and challenged us to be the best possible and gave us the loving family and home life she never got to really have. And my Boppa who I adore and want to be like in just every way and my Nana who drives me crazy but you can't help but love and my Gram who made me so proud to be a strong woman who takes care of her family NO MATTER WHAT and...the list goes on. I am blessed. It's time to start being grateful - I mean, that's what this blog was supposed to be all about, right?

And who knows? Maybe the phone will ring!

Monday, February 28, 2011

#29. Culinary Adventures for Oscar

Is it ridiculous that when shopping for a mansion house condo itty bitty living space that the only thing I really truly cared about was the kitchen? Okay and maybe having a washer/dryer. And lots of closet space. And a parking spot. And some other 10100984309384091257 things (I sincerely thank the Lord that Mr. Awesome only really wanted a living room big enough for his seriously ginormous tv. We are so compatible sometimes I think, and that is just the nicest thought of all).

But seriously, it was the kitchen that would make or break the place for me. There was no settling. I was going to have a fabuloso kitchen or nothing at all. It was the hard and fast rule de queen anne. Off with their heads! Let's play croquet! (can you tell I just re-read Alice & Wonderland? it was oooh sooooo gooooood).

found on Google Images search
Okay, where was I going with this? You don't know? Ha! Well, me either. We are officially screwed....or this post will be rather bi-polar. That could be fun. Let's continue, shall we?

Anyhow, I love kitchens. If I could, I would spend all day with the shiny countertops and the gadgets and the neatly arranged cupboards with everything having its' own little spot and everything in its' own little spot and man! do I love order.

So, yesterday, was the day of ME! I'd had it with Monday through Saturday, so Sunday was my girl. She and I were going to have a grand ol' time. And most of my grand ol' times happen in that mecca called MY KITCHEN. And Sunday, well she did not disappoint. I don't know if my happiness or Mr. Awesome's stomach was bigger by the end of the night. I'm gonna go with the happiness factor because there is almost nothing I like more than to win (WINNER! like Charlie Sheen. oh man, did I just compare myself to CharChar the nut? Well, yes I did. There it is, out there. Can't be taken back. Sighhhhhh).

Are you waiting for me to get to the point? HERE IT IS....

I did SO many things yesterday I'd never done before in my kitchen heaven. I made:

  1. Ribs! seriously, I did. Well, the crockpot had a mighty large hand in my rib-making but I stirred that sucker for 8 hours. On & off. Like every other hour. Give or take a bit. So like 3 times (this is my blog, I suppose I should be honest.) 
  2. the best roasted potatoes EVER. Is that too bold? Well too bad because it's true! I've been trying to perfect the roasted crispiness of Aunt Jane's 'taters forevvvvvvvvs and last night, my dream came true. Yes, I think I ate a bazillion potatoes. Made myself a little potato baby stomach and all. Yes, I regretted it this morning. Yes, I will probably have the leftovers for dinner tonight.
  3. poached eggs have you ever done this? If so, will you give me some tips? The egg whites kinda foamed themselves to the top and promptly turned this nasty brown color that ever Mr. Awesome the Bottomless Pit Who Eats Everything and Anything No Shame! No Shame! thought looked funktastic and wouldn't even touch with the ladle!, and the yolks were solid not runny, but they still tasted pretty delish. I will try again...some day but not soon.
  4. roasted asparagus. okay that is a cheater culinary adventure because I have certainly made asparagus before. But indulge me a bit, deal? It was the day of ME! and I'm going to count it.

Don't you wish you were our dinner guest? Don't you, Zack? Well, we had a super sweet awesome time without you, mister! I'm not bitter. Not at all.

And I got to stalk the audience for little Davy last night while the Oscars were on. Using DVR, aka the best invention known to man, so I could skip all the boring categories and commercials. Ha!

But really, I love me those Franco brothers. Seriously. They are adorable. And I know them! So I'm basically famous, too. (This day of ME! thing miiiiiiiight be going to my head, just putting it out there).

And...THE END.

Whew. This post was exhausting. If you are still reading, wow. You have some brain power. And patience. And I would like to borrow some when you get the chance!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

#28. Workin' It

I would just like you to be informed...that while you are doing whatever you are doing on this GLO-HO-HO-HOOOOORIOUS Saturday, I am preparing to kick arse & take names in my midterm.

What? You don't take pictures when procrastinating studying?

I am hoping for a victory by 4.30 o'clock. Send back-ups if I am not out within the hour. 

Studying on a Saturday blows chunks. Yes, yes it does.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

#27. Cellos Rock

Did you know, sister friends are the best kind of friends? Oh heck yes they are! It is so paiiiiiiiinfully obvious but I will spell it out for you anyways. Friends are great, sisters are awesome, but sister friends are the best things in the entire world. If you're even thinking of asking "why" right now, just don't. We won't get along very well after that, believe you me!

But in case you'd like me to elaborate just where this verbal (written? hmm I don't know how to classify this) declaration for the umpteenth time is coming from, you are in luck. I will do just that. I am so nice. Buy me something pretty.

I love learning things from my sister friends because, for pretty much 97.865% of the time, what they love, I love, and what they hate, revolts me.

Speaking of revolting, here is a tidbit I shared with my sister friend Marge yesterday via text:
I just hiccuped so hard I vomited. thought ud appreciate the share! I love u
See? Aren't sister friends the best? And revolting, yes, it's true.

So anyhooooooooizzle, this is what Margie-pants shared with me in return today:
A man who can rock out on a cello, lift it above his head, and keep jamming out is my kind of rock and roll man.
(ps - she's quite funny, isn't she?)
(pps - those are her real thoughts, fyi. not a quote. well, i guess it's a quote now!)

And you know what? I totally 1 bazillion percent agree. Cellos rock! If you don't believe me, well then obvi you are not a sister friend. And obvi you haven't gone here. Hello! get with the program! (says the girl who had never heard of this band till this morning).

ps - isn't the yellow hat dude adorrrrrrrrrable? i love him. especially when his hat falls off and the lead dude laughs. at the Grammys. amazeballs.

rock on with your bad self

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

#26. Not Everyone Can be a BA

I have a knack for abbrev's, yes I do. Except for the shortened form of the word "pounds" (ugh, don't even get me started!), I love to abbrev and do it almost (okay, definitely) excessively. It's great fun and makes life so much more efficient and I really truly think everyone loves it. Especially Mr. Awesome. How do I know? Well, sometimes he tries to steal my abbrev's or make up some of his own, which is just plain silly because, while I love him, he just doesn't have the knack like I do.  They just kinda fall dead on their faces and he's standing there waiting for the world to laugh and love and it just doesn't happen. Breaks my lil' heart.

(don't worry, LOML; i promise to always abbrev enough for the both of us. ooh, should that be part of our marriage vows? hmm highly possible!)

But, let's be serious (LBS!), sometimes you have to speak in whole words. Annoying, yes, but necessary in places like, oh, the office or with customer service phone reps or when ordering subway sandwiches (turk n picks please! doesn't get translated very well; trust me). This all results in the frequency of my abbrev's reaching an all-time low lately (living far apart from sister-friends doesn't help either!) and so I shocked even myself this past week in creating a whole new abbrev, which the Awesome man & I are now using quite excessively, quite!

Are you ready? Here it is....

(drumroll, please..........!)

used to describe all things relating to my awesomeness and things or others i find awesome and worthy of the designation

use it. love it. spread it. but not as much as Mr. Awesome. The excessive use of the word is reserved solely for yours truly because, let's face it, the rest of the world is just not as BA as me. And because 
I do what I waaaaaaaaaaant!
(another pretty BA phrase coined and used to excess by moi)

Friday, February 18, 2011

#24. Friday Flowers

What did I do to deserve this?

Nothing, I tell you. Abso-frickin-lutely nothing.

Think he'll still do this 50 years from now? I kinda think he will; he's just that great. 

#23. Slacker-like Tendencies

I have decided that, when I grow up, I want to be a yogi. Or a super-fit-adorable-stay-at-home MILF who does yoga. Potato, potatoe.

Now I suppose in order to further myself towards this goal, I would actually have to start practicing yoga. I mean, I've done it. I could show you a pretty mean tree pose (I can seriously stand on that one foot forever or at least until my bad hip starts hurting), downward facing dog, cobra, all that jazz. But I can't seem to find the time to make it a regular part of my week, day or even month. And it's not for lack of trying (okay, maybe it is); I've given it the good ol' college try several times! Heck, for Christmas, I even bought Mr. Awesome his own boy-colored yoga mat and got us month-long passes to a studio up the street. We went faithfully 3 times and then it got to be too much. Too much for whom or of what, I cannot say. Somethings just are meant to be left unsaid. That's how it goes. 

So what was my point? Oh, yes, I want to be a yogi (slash SFASAHMILFWDY). So we are going to take baby steps towards this goal. It's actually easy to do because my company is OBSESSED with mindfulness, which I think has something or a lot of somethings to do with yoginess. Today, for instance, they encouraged me to do nothing for 2 minutes. Does your boss tell you to do that? It's pretty rad (although I think the non-spoken follow-up message is "then work furiously for the next 8 hours to make up for your slacker-like tendencies" of which I have a lot). But seriously, it's kinda awesome. 

Go HERE. Try it. You'll be so glad you did!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

#22. What did you do at work today?

Because I did this:

Top that!

Some days, I don't mind this job so much. Some days...!

#21. I can sew!

Did you know that? Because I didn't! And, frankly, I was quite doubtful about the whole enterprise. But it was either endeavor to hold my sleeve up with one hand for the rest of my life (or portion thereof that I spend wearing my favorite gray wooley sweater-dress, which is quite a significant portion indeed!) and spend the night doing homework or go head-to-head with the needle and thread (ooh I rhymed without trying! seriously, LOVE when that happens). What would you choose?

Obviously, I went with the latter and here's how the whole thing went down. 

I'm sitting in a (boring) meeting, minding my own business, trying desperately to fake interest in whatever was being written on the flip chart about D3 learners and whether they come from being a D4 or a D2 and what do I care blah blah blah when I feel a strange sensation on my left arm. It wasn't a tickle and it wasn't a breeze but it was feeling a little peculiar. So subtly I shift my right arm to touch my left and assume my best "hmm yes that is soooo interesting" thinking position and then promptly launch into a bit of a panic. My sleeve is no longer being held up in that adorable little scrunchy casual fashion meaning...


I do a little ants-in-my-pants dance in my seat, trying to scavenge the floor for said button, even making up imaginary rules like if I find it, I will run an extra mile today or I will volunteer to actually explain the flip chart or I will shave my legs...you know, promises of GARGANTUAN proportions. But, to no avail. The missing buttons gods did not see fit to reward my offers of sacrifice and so, all day long, nothing could usurp the fugliness of my lopsided dress from the #1 spot in my mind.

Being a proud Type A, though, I was preeeeeeeeeeetty sure that in my sewing box at home, I had saved the extra button from the dress, labeled and such like all good Type A's do, so I counted down the hours till I could race out of there. And, of course, I was right.

So, I carefully lay out my dress, new button, an entire package of needles (because you just never know...and because it had never been opened before!) and the matching wooley gray string. And then


I had no idea what to do next! Do I start from the inside or the outside? Do I tie both ends of the string into a knot together or just one end? How thick does this freakin knot have to be (FOUR times over. FOUR! seriously)? Now how in the heck do I tie knot at the end? Did I just put it on backwards? YES! YES I DID!

But, you know, I'm no quitter. And when I'm procrastinating from doing homework, man, nothing can break my concentration. So I labored, maybe I even broke a sweat (I'll never tell) and my dress is now gloriously symmetrical again. 

What do you do when you accomplish a major feat? Take a picture? Dang right that's what you do!

And then you celebrate with some of this...

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

#20. Is this Hawaii? No! It's Google!

Is there anything more likely to turn that frown upside down than a rainbow? Is there? Because, if so, please send a little bit my way! Until then, this is definitely good enough...

Sunday, February 13, 2011

#19. Ranger Nancy is my Valentine

Tell me, now, that Ranger Nancy isn't the most amazing person ever. Ever! I spent Valentine's Eve with her and my life was forever changed. Forever! Exclamation point! Do you think she knows how much I love her? Think she knows how much I care? Oh wait, those are lyrics to Fever. Whatever. She's still amazeballs.

Here are some of the gems she gave Mr. Awesome & I on our super-creepy nighttime tour of Alcatraz (yes that was my Valentine's Day present from Mr. Awesome and yes I squealed with excitement. Best. Gift. Ever.):

"Mush, mush, people! Let's go!"

"This tunnel was built, oh well, hmm let's see. It was one of those years, I mean, I just can't keep all these things straight."
               Editor's note: this was the only date she had to give us on the whole tour
"He tried to run me over! Me!" when the cart bringing people who couldn't walk up the hill asked her to move out of the way.

"Well there's a video you can watch down in the library. I think it's about the escapees. I mean, how should I know? The title doesn't give you a very good description, now does it?"

So, now maybe you are thinking that Ranger Nancy makes a pretty lousy tour guide. You may be thinking correctly. But she made me laugh the whole time. Which helped because, let's be honest, I was a wee bit scared for most of the tour. Just a wee bit. 
Look how freakin' excited I am!
Ahh! I'm finally going!
These are my friends, Lazy, Hazy & Jumper McGee
Chris behind bars. Usually he's just in them :) haha
You can't see it, but that's the rock behind us. Ooooh, scary darkness!

I have the best Valentine ever, huh?

Friday, February 11, 2011

#18. Taco & Movie Night w Mr. Awesome

Tell me, is there anything more wonderful than the comfort of your own home? Maybe the comfort of your own home plus a Mr. Awesome to cuddle up beside on the couch?
He's saying "My love, come sit right here!"
Alternate translation "Quit taking pictures, I feel awkward, can we eat already?"
Plus a movie you've been waiting to see for ohhhhhhh about three years (yes, I have a life! and no, I don't watch that many movies. seriously. it's kind of embarrassing)? Plus a deliciously cooked meal that takes all of 10 minutes to prepare and 2 minutes to eat plus some laughing at Mr. Awesome who doesn't know how to make a taco, so tries for a burrito and ends up spilling half of the ten-pound creature all over kingdom come because even it won't fit into his ginormous-sized mouth?

Yea...I didn't think so. It's a wonderful life (and, yes, that's a movie I've actually seen!)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

#17. I do NOT talk on my Cell Phone in Public Bathrooms

Here I go again. Are you ready? Because, truth be told, I've been in need of some up-cheering lately and what better way to do so than to toot your own horn (by the way, isn't that the greatest phrase ever invented!)? So, TOOT TOOT, the Anne Horn is sounding off. 

I am PROUD of the fact that I do not, never ever, in a million bazillion years plus a gazillion lifetimes, talk on my phone in public bathrooms. I mean


Not only has it been said that flushing the toilet can cause particles from said toilet to land up to SIX FEET away (seriously, don't forget to put your toothbrush in a drawer or with a handy dandy cover!) but there are other people in there!! Other people with weird sounds coming out of them!



And how exactly do you explain those noises or the flush of the toilet to your cell phone companion. "Hey, what was that? Are...are you in the bathroom?" "No, no don't be silly. That was just the cat coughing up a hairball." "You're a cat person? I'm hanging up now..."

So basically what I'm saying is that you lose your friends either way. Just don't do it, people. Just don't. You will thank me later, I am sure. You're welcome!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

#16. The Black-Haired Kids

Must love dogs should have been a requirement to get into the family. However, had that been the case, neither Papa John nor I would have been admitted to the fun. Sadness, I know! But as a little kid, I just didn't want to get diiiiiiiirty and dogs were diiiiiiiiiirty. Bummer, Basil, Babe, Spot, Buddy - all of them outdoor lovelies who just couldn't get enough of the dirt and the mud and then jumping on all four feet nothing of little ol' me - it's enough to scare the beejeezus outta anyone, I tell ya! And it probably didn't help that Mama Wills would threaten to leave us and take only the dogs when we were bad...which was pretty much all the time with 5 girls in the house!

But then came along Jilly & Bean's rolly-polly goodness and something changed. For one, they got to stay inside for most of the time, thus eliminating much of the diiiiiiiiiirty dilemma. For another, they were just adorable and cuddly and uber snobbish (Jilly) and Eeyore-ish-ly depressed (Bean). I'd never seen such personalities in dogs up close before and my soft feelings got the better of me and I LoVeD them....after, of course, the first weekend we met in which they woke me up at 4:45am to piddle all over me while in bed and then ate ONE of my favorite sneakers. One! What was I supposed to do with one ruined, one fabulous? Le sigh...

Tomorrow, the little monsters turn 7 and I wish I were home to celebrate. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. I love those little suckers as if they were my own brother & sister...which of course, we tell them that they are. They've got Papa John's black hair (and they're also starting to go gray just like him, too, heehee!).

Happy Birthday, J&B! Here's my best impression of you...see the family resemblance???

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

#25. Margaret!

I know what you're thinking. Really, I do, and not in a creepy way. I'm Just. That. Good. (yesssssssssss)

You are thinking:
Wait a minute! #25? Where the heck did that come from? Aren't we just somewhere in the 'teens? Has this chick lost her bananas?
The answer, my friends, is probably. But in this case, no. Today, of all fine days, we launch the 
because my dear darling sister is turning the ripe ol' age of 25! Yahoo!

(PS, Margie, it's a fun year. I still remember mine. Great things happen in year 25! And...look how stinkin' cute you were! And still are! Good work, you!)

So, friends, let's take a walk down memory lane, shall we? It will be fun, I promise! And either way, you kinda have to play along because this is my blog and I say so. It just works like that. I'm sorry.

Megs, remember when you tried to run away? That was stupid (no offense). Little itty bitty Mary in her diapers and little t-shirt just up and walked away while Dr. J & I hung out watching tv. We quickly improved upon our babysitting skills, but man! did you give us all a scare. Well, if we're being honest here (and why wouldn't we?), Dr. J & I were more scared of getting in trouble, but I sure am glad you found your way home! That was definitely the beginning of your Little Stinker Phase, to put it lightly haha.

Remember when you moved to USC? And we stood in line all day to get you registered and moved into Parkside? And then you cried a whole lot and stayed with me at the Pink Party Palace until you absolutely had to go home because you were already homesick? Remember how you joined Theta with me and were so proud of yourself for fooling me that you were picking a different house? My favorite memories of your freshman year were our weekly sushi nights at the LC while I worked the Wednesday night shift and you spoiled me with your way-too-big food meal plan freshman year (shh...don't tell Dad!). I loved getting to hang out with you every week and bond over california rolls and coke zero. It was awesome. Remember when you worked in the LC after I graduated and now Dan the Bossman doesn't even remember me? Remember when you moved in the PPP and renamed it your senior year? Remember how our lives were basically the same awesomeness until you graduated and left me for the freezing cold Chicago? REMEMBER??? Because I do and I'm still sad every day :(

And, now Miss Margaret, this is the most important one of all, I dare say...remember when we became best friends? Little by little when I came to rely on you more than anyone else. I remember how you held my hand and gave me hugs when I went through that horrible-awful-time-not-to-be-mentioned my last semester at USC and I felt all alone, so alone. I remember how we didn't fully let Mr. Awesome in until you had come back from Italy and given your stamp of approval. I remember how you called me every day when Mr. Awesome & I went through our not-so-awesome hiccup. And how you kept the biggest secret of all that I never ever thought you capable of because, let's be serious, friends don't make secrets, sisters should never have secrets, and sister friends don't even know what that word means! And of all the sister friends, Sister Mary Margaret doesn't like secrets the most haha. How you kept Mr. Awesome's visit to ask Dad if he could marry me a secret for MONTHS! I will never, ever know. Sharing is caring and you care so much and love so much and I am the luckiest girl in the world to have you as my sister friend.

I will never vote you off the island. Even if you stay in Chicago forever.

I wanted a picture of you & me here, but you are just so stinkin' pretty in this picture (and real life! it's true!) that I couldn't help but post this one. Awww...pretty girl!

Monday, February 7, 2011

#15. Sunday Bakery at Chez Trester

Head Chef moi
(minus the mustache plus some boobs and a waaaaaaaay cuter apron!)
What do you do when you're bored? If you're Mr. Awesome, you watch sports and play MarioKart (which, he claims, is also a sport. Uh huh...). If you're one fabulous Annabelle Williams soon-to-be Trester, you bake. 

(P.S. Mr. Awesome, upon reading this blog, thought that I should be referring to myself not as soon-to-be Trester, but soon-to-be Awesome. SOON-TO-BE?!?!? Oh, buddy....am I not already Awesome? Really? Yea...that's what I thought! Anyhoo, onwards & upwards...back to baking!)

The fruits of my labor yesterday were a GINORMOUS! bowl of puppy chow, couple dozen oatmeal chocolate chip with a few (just a few!) raisin cookies, and pumpkin spice muffins. Oh, and pomegranate guacamole, roasted cauliflour and turkey tenderloin because while I am an excellent baker, my chef'ing skills are pretty fab, too. And...we needed dinner.

But more important than recognizing my culinary achievements, I think I would like to take a moment of silence for the fallen soldiers of yesterday's battle in the kitchen:

1. half a bag of newly opened powered sugar
cause of death - accidental tippage into the sink and down the drain
means of proper burial - garbage disposal, which also shot back up half the sugar and into my hair. silver fox?  why yes I am!

2. a whole freakin' lot of peanut butter & chocolate melted deliciousness 
cause of death - burned solid into the stovetop while I was trying to understand W.T.H. was going on in the movie Rocknrolla...so confused STILL
means of proper burial - 30 mins with the not-so-nice side of a sponge

3. favorite green spatula from Williams-Sonoma
cause of (almost) death - impatience of one fabulous baker who didn't want to turn off the mixer while scraping the sides of the bowl
means of recovery - cutting off the plastic parts that started to shred so no one can tell means it never happened, right? right?

There are always a few casualties in any good battle, but we triumphed, oh yes. And ooooh victory tastes so sweet, it's true!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

#14. For the Love of Hot Pink Lipstick

I found myself in the need of some up-cheering. No particular reason but truth be told, I was wallowing in it. So, into the bathroom I went and found myself, totally unaware, applying


Not gloss, not shimmer, but lipstick, people. You know, the thing your Nana wears? Can you be 27 and wear lipstick and still look yourself in the eye? And, more importantly, can hot pink lipstick do the trick to pull you out of a funk?

I emerge with lips duly painted to find Mr. Awesome at work in the living room/kitchen/breakfast nook/office.

Me: I am feeling needy.
Mr. Awesome: What can I do to help?
Me: I would like you to choose a snack. And then I will purchase/make said snack.
Mr. Awesome: Okay but only something little b/c dinner is in an hour & a half (what a buzz kill, he is).
Me: I knoooooow but I am grumbly in my tumbly.

So down I go to Falletti's (which by the way, is the greatest invention known to man. Grocery store beneath apartment. Glorious!) and wander around trying to find parmesean-flavored goldfish (Mr. Awesome's favorite and mine, too, b/c when he's happy, I'm happy). "Cute shoes!" I hear and instantly, mood rockets up a notch (and, truth be told, they are pretty stinkin' cute!). Wander, wander, wander, up and down each aisle, and let me tell you...I found a whole list of things to improve said mood:

1. Canned pumpkin - I have been searching for Libby's canned pumpkin for weeks! It just cannot be found! And then, lo and behold, there it was, singing, beckoning to me...buy me! buy me! Canned pumpkin + spice cake mix + 3T water = best muffins EVER AND EVER AMEN.

2.  Tortilla chips, on sale! - did I ever tell you how many bags of tortilla chips we eat in this household? And by we, I do not mean we. I mean Mr. Awesome and his love affair with the crunchy corn variety. If it were possible, he'd leave me for them, of this I am certain. But then, who would make his guac for him? EXACTLY!

3. The biggest jalapeno pepper EVER - it made me laugh out loud. I don't even like jalapenos, but into my arms it went b/c holy cow it was ginormous...and I figured I could throw it into the pomegranate guac we are making tomorrow and it will be a hit AND a hoot! Bang, bang for your buck!

4. Coke Zero - because seriously, caffeine perks me riiiiiiight up. And then I crash. But the up is so gooooood, I can't stop.

5.  Parmesean Goldfish - did you think I forgot? Nay, I am like an elephant who never (okay sometimes/sorta/most of the time) forgets. But not today, hooray!

And so now I am drinking my Zero and snacking on my 'fish and my mood is better. 

But, seriously, can you wear hot pink lipstick? Of this, I am not sure.

#13. Meet Me at the Alamo (Square)

I threw a big stinkin' fit yesterday (totally unlike me, I know). Remember how excited I was to drink champagne in the park? Well, then I changed my mind and decided to be Stressball Anne, because sometimes, you've just got to put up with me and my changing moods. Stressball Anne went on and on and on about how much she had to do, how silly things like work and buying face lotion and drying her hair were eating up HER LIFE (yes, seriously, those were my complaints) and that she


So did we go to the park? Of course we did! But oh did Stressball Anne grumble the whole way. Did she publicly voice her desire to kick a little mangy nasty horrible rat dog? Yes, she did (don't judge. You know you want to, too!). 

Watch out, ratdog!

But little by little, Stressball Anne went away. 

She took off her shoes.

She popped open that bottle of champagne.
Shhhh don't tell!

And, yes indeed, she looked over at that adorable soulmate of hers

and enjoyed the sunshine (and of course, the champagne). Both very good for the soul.

The end.
Thank you, Alamo Square, for restoring my calm (from both me and Mr. Awesome, who I think just couldn't take Stressball Anne anymore no matter how hard he tried!).