Seriously, I know I was supposed to be famous and beautiful and independently wealthy and so on & so forth, but somewhere down the road, I went a little sideways. Do you ever feel that way? Not, to be exact, that you are going sideways but that somehow you did the wrong thing with the phone? If you are feeling the former, it's time to put down the whisky!
For instance, these are supposed to be the best years of my life, right? I'm supposed to mourn over the loss of this 27-year-old body of mine and wish for it back in years to come - as if!!! Let's be serious; I'm mourning over this sucker now! This 5'2" package is not what I was hoping for when I tried every diet known to man over the last 10 years. And the early onset of wrinkles from work-related stress, let's not even go there.
And what about all the fun you're supposed to be having in your twenties? Going to fabulous parties and "living the life" with your gaggle of girlfriends - I assume they were not talking about my Saturday night curled up in bed watching season 1 of Jersey Shore? Did I really just admit that? Should we end this post here? It's all becoming too much to bear! (Oh, did I mention how dramatic I was? You should know about that before going any further!) But yes, I admit it. Hi my name is Anne and I live vicariously through Snooki & JWoww. I see now that they are not really my friends in my real life. But...I really want the Snooki poof and Jenni's (fake) boobs. C'mon. You do, too!
|Seriously, are either of those things real?|
courtesy of google image search
And who knows? Maybe the phone will ring!