Friday, January 14, 2011

#1. Electric toothbrush from Mr. Awesome

My obsession with teeth began long before this blog post, long before I had moved to the land of perfect, white, straight teeth (aka Hollywood), looooooong before I found the man of my dreams. Yes, this obsession has been with me since my 'tweens, and I don't think I'm ever going to shake it. I dream about little pearly whites all lined up, side-by-side, same height, same shade of eggshell, held in place by bright (but not too bright) pink gums. I evaluate every set that walks by me (are those straighter than mine? how often do you think she brushes? DO you think she brushes???) and I lust after making mine as perfect as possible, in spite of the crazy small mouth/too many teeth genetics I was given.

Oh yes, people, I am...
OBSESSED.

So I was feeling mighty fine heading to my dentist appointment, knowing that she would probably crown me Queen of the Cavity Free Club and ask to take my picture to post for all the other patients of what model perfect teeth look like. Definitely 10 outta 10 possibility and I was going to milk it for all it's worth - I even planned to call Mr. Awesome while it was happening so he could fawn over me, too (did I mention how much I love attention? loooove it).

Well, well, well, things did not turn out as planned
(funny how often that happens, isn't it?).

After quizzing me unusually long about how often I floss (every day), how often I brush (twice a day), and in what direction I brush (circles, away from the gums, duh!), Dentist Lady smiled that "I don't believe you" smile and told me....my gums were starting to receed. RECEED, PEOPLE! There's no turning back if that happens (which obviously I knew from all my teeth research) and, well...

I
flipped
out.

And when I came home that night, Mr. Awesome held my hand while I cried. Oh I cried. I mourned those recessed gums until I was all cried out (and, ps, I did this while brushing because, well, you can't just sit around feeling sorry for yourself all day, says mom!).

And, then, Mr. Awesome did something I never expected. A fellow excessive-teeth-brusher, he understood how big of a blow this recession thing was, and he got down on one knee, held my hand, and....

GAVE ME HIS SPARE ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH
(people, I hope you didn't get too excited there. We've been engaged for months!)

And, so life is back to wonderful. Mr. Awesome & me & our little matching electric toothbrushes, we are back to happy. We brush faithfully for 3 mins in the morning & 3 mins in the evening. Those little suckers even auto-turn-off for us every 2 mins so we know just where we are in the process. It's like a miracle. Well, okay, not reeeeeally a miracle because it's just technology people and it's been sitting in our bathroom cupboard for awhile, but

My
Life
Is
Changed.

Electric toothbrush, I love you.


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